I was to big spoon the shit out of you right now
I'm so hungover and dru,k
This bar is like a mediocre whore house....but free
The last two calls in my phone are dominos and 911. I'm not sure how my night went.
i just successfully used the word "hymen" in a paper...welcome to senior seminar in lit.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My parents just suggested that we tailgate the midnight christmas service. this is my gene pool.
No fucking idea. Just paid for my chipotle in chocolate coins, though. Either there is a huge language barrier happening here, or my big boobs are finally paying off.
I'm taking her home. She just told a 90 yo woman in a packers hat to "suck her cock".
Its like every time I go out with you, it always involves Serbian chicks and taco bell and you always manage to get both all over my bed.
I just can't have sex with a guy who has nicer eyebrows than me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Idk. I was speaking metaphorically. Go for it. As one of your bad decisions, I feel confident in saying you've done worse.
Well I'm in the bathtub smoking a bowl and eating doritos and frosting so I might not be the one to advise you on this shit but I'll try.
Bobbing for jello shots in a bucket of long island. Fast track to alcohol poisoning.
had a nice chat with the older gay fellow who works in the bakery at the new vons about vday...we both feel that it's a day of dashed expectations & concerns that we'll have to be cut out of our spanx
If you feel frisky later I have a cowboy hat that would look great on you naked...
Who is this......
My son's girlfriend just thanked me for having good penis genes.
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