I just ate 10 fun sized 3 musakteers.. I'm pretty sure I'm about to start my period.
Talk to you next week
Did your girl go home? Did she have fun? Can we have our friend back?
My "High Times" magazine came in today, as well as my girlfriend's new sex toys. We're calling in sick today.
Is it just me, or does Colt McCoy look like Herbie the Dentist from "Rudolph the Red-nosed Reindeer"?
He gave me an orgasm with his left hand...and he's right handed. Of course he's a keeper.
We stayed in and smoked weed and watched Dreamgirls. We made each other's vaginal lips sing the songs. Mine was Beyonce, hers was Jamie Foxx. I think this is one of those times you're jealous you're not an awesome lesbian.
We built a fire and had sex in the kiddie pool. Then he washed my hair
Strong work
Yeah. I don't think I have anything left in me tho. I think I was throwing up tangible memories at one point.
why can't I meet attractive men at the places I like to hang out? like books a million. or the liquor store.
This is the third year in a row that Mario has fallen through a table on New Years. I'm sensing a tradition developing.
Like when I see him I look straight through his appearance and just envision a big walking penis.
Btw, remind me to tell you about how I had to cancel my crazy wild sex plans with Will b/c my roommate came back from his trip after a day b/c Canada wouldn't let him in. Fucking cockblock.
Actually that's the whole story. You don't have to remind me.
Why did my mother make you get naked?
She was going down on me before I had a chance to tell her I arrested her brother 3 hours earlier
My mom found me this morning passed out, face down on my dinning room floor
That must have been one awkward situation haha
Well I woke up in my bed.... I don't remember her finding me
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