dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
This cougar at my work just said "big breasts" referring to poultry... Still resulted in a boner.
I'm done. I'm tired and there's a topless pic of me floating around the nation's largest 3G network.
She took off her pants and it was like seeing an old friend.
someday when you wake up in a dumpster we'll have to have this conversation again...
Found my smoke alarm in a ziploc in my toilet...again
How's work?
Spinning.
She's doing shots in her underwear, a fur hat and mittens. I'm never coming home.
he just sent me a pic of him naked with a bucket of margarita mix hanging off his dick
He called me while he was having sex and asked if I wanted to go get mcdonalds
Just successfully went through airport security with shrooms. It's gonna be a fucking awesome new years
If you want it you better put a ring on it. And by ring I mean one of my three favorite pies.
From what I remember I had fun, until I threw up, and lost my shoes..
That sad moment when the drawer I used to keep condoms in now has poptarts in it..
Explain to me how we're not being documented on? A gynecologist I saw two times 8 years ago popped up on my people you may know list on fb. What in the actual fuck?
Randomize
