Not even the dog will look at me anymore.
if he wont fuck me on the stairamster then i dont think theres much XXX shit going down
someone left their shoes, a resume, and a pizza in the shower... i am actually speechless
I am wrecking havoc on the skinny girls by going home with the big one. She is taking me to see her dog now.
Found your counterpart from cali. Walked into the bar we were in with milk and a donut, ordered a beer and said anything his group wanted was on his tab....dangerous
Well since your going through her phone..look man she loves you..she just loves my dick more
My backyard is filled with beer cans. You idiots turned our backyard into a redneck ball-pit
I don't understand why you aren't on this trip all I do is smoke weed drink beer and get fingered
My date bailed but I got to take a nap so I'm cool with it.
If muffins & morning blowjobs don't make him happy, frankly, I don't think anything will.
I can't have the last guy who touched my vagina be my coworker.
Long story short I shit on a sidewalk while walking with multiple people. Then sprinted around the streets of Tallahassee in only gym shorts as I tore my toga off and wore it as a cape.
Two questions: Did you enjoy your birthday present and how did i wake up with glitter all over my dick?
And now, by the power vested in me by the state of intoxication, I now pronounce you fucking awesome.
Clearly the Stanley Cup Finals good luck hand job IS necessary. You let the whole team down.
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