You know how my eyes change color? Well I noticed after I hook up with someone my eyes are greener.
Wow, so you're like the Edward Cullen of sluts.
It was like a secret agent hookup. No names, swift execution, get in- get out.
i had to take my roommates dildo out of her suitcase so I could use it
the suitcase or the dildo?
Not much, just your average college male Sunday cleaning period blood out of the carpet.
Tell me you're kidding.
Besides scarred, I'm not much of anything right now.
You were fucked up like a footballbat trying to eat gum off your shoe. And that wasn't even the nights lowest point.
Walking through campus with a grocery bag full of pot brownies. I'm like the santa claus of 4/20
So the bump is from hitting my head in an elevator. Apparently I dived into a cab head first too.....
Am I over stepping my bounds if I ask to fuck in your new bathroom?
It has heated floors
Sometimes I'm sad but then I realize that bagels.
17. The number of times my one night stand told me he loved me.
I just wish he'd leave so I can vomit in peace.
I'm gonna play this game called Conquer the Dicks. I think it is self explanatory.
Just come home. We will have sex and Taco Bell. I'm feeling wild, I put on temporary tattoos.
I got up and left his place at 3am because I remembered I had a burrito in my car.
The hump and dump is a beautiful thing
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