we're taking shots every time my dog licks his penis. we're on number 8 now.
you should have been aborted.
you ever fart during an orgasm? feels like u just lost 10 pounds
You know you're wathing too much reality TV when you start adding commentary to every day life.
I love girls that fake tan. Can you say p p p p p p p p pumpkin face
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We need to get her some penis inspired head protection.
Ok...drunk girls at the bar are charging $1 for motorboating. It's fucking WEDNESDAY. I never want to leave.
Fuck men. I'm going to go eat a package of cookie dough and get fat. I hope I die of salmonella.
Your "OraGel will numb anything" theory was the worst thing I ever believed in.
You will not judge me for my made-up holiday of wine appreciation day
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just saw pictures of a pregnant teen from my hometown with an American flag wrapped around her naked body posted on FB without irony. These are my roots.
I only call her for sex and medical advice. She admitted she feels like a worried parent when her phone rings at 5 a.m.
So this tall girl jumped in our cab and I was like hey I have pics of u on my phone. It wasn't creepy at all
The only alcohol at my aunts was mikes hard so I drank 9 of them and puked in the master bath
I smell like cotton candy and guilt.
I'm waiting for you in a manthong right now.
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