we should wear snuggies to the strip club
Omg. The strippers are having a batman vs spiderman showdown. Both on stage. Genius.
Have you ever seen a midget fist pump? BEST. THING. EVERRRRR.
there was a trail of blood coming out of one of the bathroom stalls. thought of you
He just asked me if I wanted a ride on the "bologna pony." I never wanna have sex again...
I'm naked and wearing a cowbell.i love med school.
I posted my balls on ericas instagram. It got 17 likes.
I'm gonna make a therapist very happy and very wealthy this semester.
Boobs are out for the taking
I knew I was in trouble when she kept referring to the next day as things we should do
So you brought her to my house and left her on my couch.
I either forgot underwear this morning or lost them at work and I seriously don't know which.
My idiot ex texted me on Valentine's day to tell me I was right, he did need a therapist.
I haven't had sex since the Vanilla Ice concert
Please don't have sex ever again just so you can say that forever.
I wish i didn't black out tuesday so i could have cherished our moment together
Throwing up together is NOT a cherishable moment...
My vagina! What have you done to it?
Blessed it my child.
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