How come twittering sounds sexual?
Because of Bambi.
I just used Master P to describe what sound the letter U makes to my daughter...
I just spent the last hour spooning with my drug dealer.
Sorry I never got back to you. I got high. I know it sounds like a commercial or something... but its true
Im sorry for drunkenly throwing your phone into the ocean. At the time it seemed like a good way for you not to text him
Just did lines off your face, congrats on getting in the magazine bro
YOU GOT KINKY WEIRD ICE CREAM HEAD ON FRIDAY DONT EVEN COMPLAIN.
Tried making out with pop rocks in my mouth. That shit is magical.
I figure that my generation of my family needs an alcoholic. I'll take that burden.
Less than a month to go... I do not understand how I was able to put up with a roommate who wears bright green Crocs for a year.
If I got paid for every bad decision I've made I would be one rich bitch by now
ok so i got home drunk and was cleaning my kitchen and i was shaking out the throw rug and dropped it out the window, i'm sorry
Cheese, the small of a woman's back, the universe, mountains, vampiric demons, sleep, and dreams.
I told my parents how nice the girl at the frogurt store was. I neglected to mention that I nearly lost my virginity to her via foursome.
Just flash them and yell "JUDGE THESE BITCHES"
Randomize
