Last night was a blur. All I remember is jizzing in the squeegee bucket at a gas station.
The look on the soccer mom's face was PRICELESS.
I wish I could drop acid with the muppets
How do you feel about the band name "O'labia Newton John"??
The crazy thing is, I dont actually know where the cat is, she said something bout the back of the toilet and a sock.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently, there is a horrible ghonorrea out break at our school. Woo! What a way for Loyola to welcome us back.
She had her laptop open and there was microsoft word opend and all was written was "no italianoo"
I love watching the kids I sold drugs to score touchdowns
He said that he didn't know what level the sun was on, and then he puked.
The words "me," "sober," and "new years eve" do not go together. Ever.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I agree though, his intact virginity is truly the tragedy of the century.
My mother just made an innapropriate gesture with a cucumber while grocery shopping at whole foods... Then she said "bitches love cucumbers" and all this time i thought i was adopted
Pretty sure my idea of standards went out the window when I hooked up with a guy who had a rooster tattoo with an arrow pointing down to his no no bits. Think about it.
Anyway, it's clearly a shapeshifting vagina/AT-AT, which I never said I was SEXUALLY attracted to. Just that I liked it.
You know you're drunk when you have to be picked up out of a bathtub.
It was a good thing I was on the balcony flashing those guys or I would have never seen her skipping to his car
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