I woke up with semen in my invisalign. My molars were just marinating in it
well when i got there she was attempting to stick the cat in her mouth.. so maybe you should go check on her
you handed me the dorito you were about to eat and told me to 'keep him safe' while you went to the bathroom
It was almost awkward to look at you naked while listening to Circle of Life. Just saying.
I had sex with her like 200 times, and she was only pregnant once, those are pretty good statistics.
you started looking at my couch laughing and saying to it "she thinks I'm talking to you" then proceeded to laugh and talk to the couch some more.
it took us a while to figure out sex on a tire swing, buuuuuuuut MISSION ACCOMPLISHED
My boobs are feeling quite sensitive so I told them, " you is smart, you is kind, you is important" that should do the trick.
I just quit my job so I could get dick this weekend. I'm pretty sure my need for dick is much more important than the customers' needs.
Ah well. Drinking wouldn't be drinking without mystery bruises
Agreed.
I just realized I haven't got laid since the last time the Browns won.
Church parking lot, park bench, front porch. I think she's more comfortable going down on me in public. May have found the one.
Never thought an ATM max withdrawal could be such a good thing...
I behisseth at your soul from the deepest darkest depths of the earth
He fucked my brains out then fed me cheese and peanut butter. I might be in love.
Randomize
