I'm totally counting that party when he kept putting his hands down my pants as a date.
I got 70 on my final, or put differently, I got a "still graduating" on my final.
There's a transgender game of twister in the basement...God doesnt want me to type this paper.
As you were leaving the bar you grabbed a table and when they stopped you, you said "Its cool i came in with this". They did not believe you.
This morning two of his housemate threw confetti over me, started singing and handed me a make shift trophy out of cereal boxes and beer cans that said 'Harry's Virginity' on it. Fucking brilliant!
So I'm trying to figure out if starting the day running around the quad in a black t-shirt and bikini w/ a drawn on mustache is a good way to start the day...
We had to go to his parents last night for dinner & ended up having a quickie in the bathroom while everyone else was outside smoking.. This is why we have a successful marriage.
Ughhh I can't remember the last time "time fell back or springed forward" and I wasn't at the bar to argue about it :(
I can't straight up say the only reason I smoked a couple bowls with you was for your three legged cat
I saw Nicolas Cage's face in the moon. Those were good shrooms.
What's it called where you go to the stripclub with two guys that have both gone down on you...
Tuesday
The shrooms have turned on carrie. Change of plans. We're getting stoned and finding bacon.
being serenaded is actually kind of awkward 2/10 do not reccommend
Pretty sure at some point last night i said to myself "it'll be fun to completely lose my mind for a night"
So...#1 on my TO DO list for college is to fuck someone somewhere in the stadium during the homecoming game...you down?
Randomize
