Buhtt sex?
he told me that if i wanted to smoke he could make a piece out of my shoe. were keeking this kid around
he told me he saved a turtle in the middle of the road.. i told him id be over in ten minutes...i mean he deserves a bj after that.
We had sex in the woods. It was great until some bird started mimicking my orgasm sounds
The plus side of face planted at the tailgate was that no one could see my nipples hanging out.
He said something pertaining to Ragu and vodka I'm worried
I guess I gave him a 20 minute play-by-play of the first three sections of R. Kelly's 'trapped in a closet.'
i'm sure god appreciates how great my boobs look during this fine christmas eve mass
hey, sorry about all the butter. I thought it was gonna help.
Sorry for screaming that you were an apple in spanish at the bar last night, that was the wine talking
He said he doesnt believe in the female orgasm,so no I did not have sex with him.
turns out my ex girlfriend has become my most successful wingman. life is fuckin weird sometimes
Is "You've never made me cum." an acceptable breakup line?
I'm just glad you didn't end up in Staten Island
I woke up naked holding a taco. My ass couldn't even make it to my bed let alone Staten Island
Last night I made out with two lesbians while dancing with another girl. I'm pretty sure it wasn't even real life.
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