Yeah I gave the girl a dirty look. And only a three dollar tip.
I found a pair of size 15 female undies on my floor?? is that big?
the reason why you were crawling on your hands and knees from room to room last night was because you thought the ceiling fans were chasing you...
that makes sense.
we were doing it doggy-style and i felt him pop that pimple on my back.I have mixed feelings about it
You unbuttoned your shirt and started walking down the center of the road screaming traffic stops for Enrique Iglesias.
That's okay, during storytime I would have to sit on my hands so I wouldn't touch everyone. Explains a lot...
currently wearing a football players overly sized underwear. discovered a shot count on my leg. I'm a tank hahahhh
He's a cat fanatic .. That was not in the fine print when we started fucking
he just sat there, in the doorway of my dorm room, chuggin a fifth like nobodys buisness.. don't know whether to fuck him or be afraid of his confidence
Please don't make me ever have to hear the words "the Queen's gynecologist" ever again.
my poor anus
Pssh I just bang a girl in a single person tent. Thats like the back seat of a sedan.
Throwing up into Nora's potty chair while simultaneously having beer shits was truly the highlight of my Christmas season.
What'd I miss?
Erotic hypnosis and studded dog collars.
He wanted to save my dignity, I just wanted beads and jäger
Randomize
