I feel like i just miscarried Jesus's baby...
i like that octo mom she is my favorite xmen
I never thought that I'd ever use the phrase "and the resulting ice cream explosion" seriously at work...
Not only do I have sand in my ass, but a crab pinched me while we were fucking. Still totally worth it.
We gave a starfish gin and Lucky Charms. I think it enjoyed it. Best trip to the beach ever.
fell asleep with the bong in the pool, weirdest tan line ever
Things we need. Powerade. Water in fridge. Mixers for vodka. And reality checks.
I woke up with like grass burns all over my body, i'm pretty sure i made out with someone under a bus. . . but i'm not sure
I'm the brains and you're the boobs of this operation.
The drunk fake out is her specialty. She'll agree to come with us and two seconds later we check to make sure she's still there and we see her booking it down the hall in the opposite direction.
don't care how drunk i am. my dick was like "nope, not doing it, you can't make me and i was like oh yes i can"
Two drag queens are fighting over me. And yet the night is still getting weirder
I keep having dreams where I tie him up and eat cookies off of him while riding him. Wtf brain.
theres a canoe in our lawn. we dont own a canoe.
it was the only safe place
Dude, Kevin called the cops on the cops.
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