you never know when you'll meet the man of your dreams and bang him in an elevator
Friend I haven't seen in almost a year just IMed me to let me know that my mom stuck her boob out the window on the freeway at her.
Her mom responded by mooning my mother. I really don't know what's worse.
Springtime is officially here. I just used pool water to fill up the bong
i am positive it's ok to drink. it's just pieces of the plastic knife i forgot was in the blender.
He cut part of his finger off. It was a consolation blow job.
Apparently she saw two women get in a slapping match over a comforter at target yesterday. She said it was awesome. Clearly I take after her.
Didn't get the job. Searched for my references on FB and saw the pic of me weighing my head passed out.
I thought he was walking around the front. I just hit and run my booty call. I'm the worst non girlfriend ever
If I asked you to guess what I'm doing right now how many guesses would it take to get to really high eating an apple bumping techno
I would rather her be sleeping with someone new than getting to go Harry Potter world before me...
The fact that my boss lets me drink on my lunch break makes Mondays much easier.
I told him I wanted to get on him and ride him to Montana. It didnt end like i thought it would.
Somehow I went from sitting in a car upside down to waking up in the grass surounded by paramedics. It was a great night.
He's honking my boob in his sleep
It's innocent and endearing in some way
The heart wants what the heart wants, and once again it’s a guy with brown hair, wears a chain, and has a nicotine addiction.
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