I'm not high anymore, I decide when it's done.
It's all fun and games until the last slice of pizza gets bong water spilled on it.
4 months of living in europe has taught me the art of making a drunken stumble look like a dance move
Someone fucked up, the stop Kony day is on 4/20,
Would you be mad if I just used the argument "I'm allowed to say that, my best friend is a lesbian"?
Never. I'm proud to help you win arguments.
Pierced my own nipple last night, and yes everyone did go absolutely nuts
Debating whether the Plan B I had this morning would go under breakfast or lunch in my food log.
I have this terrible fear I might accidentally text a pic of my dick to my grandma
Bro, she said my penis was the best thing to happen to her mouth since teeth.
i've now hooked up with two guys who have tattoos of their sister's names...so that's a reality i have to live with...
So high, just applauded for a magic trick on Hulu.
Also this just in, I think you could see my sequins underwear that say unwrap me through my leggings all day while I hung out with his family
I woke up at 3am, top off, with campus security telling me to get dressed. Tonight was a GOOD NIGHT
so on the street and some kid is chanting "cheeseburger, cheeseburger, cheeseburger!" while pumping his fist in the air. i agree.
Fuck you bitch. You're married. You got a live-in dick at home for your needs. I still gotta surf this shitty town's bars for cock
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