so i woke up to her 8 year old asking for a bowl of cereal...
ed mcmahon, farrah fawcett, and michael jackson all in one week. What next god, are you juts gonna take my penis too?
and next time when you feel me up, do it right
I just found out I have a small penis.
Couldn't you tell by how you've NEVER had a girlfriend?
IM SAVING ALL MY LOVE FOR YOU
I don't want it.
New first...just saw an entire family of homeless hitch hikers...kids and all. God, i love Oklahoma!
Got to see someone fall down the stairs while holding hot coffee and a folder full of papers. Best Monday ever.
I couldn't be mad. She was crying because she fell bare ass into the rose bush trying to pee. So I held her up mid-stream and she peed on my feet. No big
I haven't found him passed out in the living room covered in noodles for a while now so I guess he's getting better with the drinking.
You did this to me with your delicious pizza and moonshine.
I'll forgive you once we're drunk again by noon.
I never should have let my cousin and his pregnant girlfriend move in with me. I'm never having sex again. They scare off men more than 'my dream wedding' pin board.
He was on my bed looking at me like a sacrifice to the gods of gay sex and he's definitely a bottom. Like Jesus Christ a really, really great ass of a bottom.
DRAW HIM A PICTURE OF SOME FUCING AWESOME THING. LIKE A UNICORN OR SOME SHIT. FANTASTIC.
Well the term Party is used loosely in this situation. Since it will just be mom wine drunk and us eating chips with multiple dips.
Is it sad that my idea of a quality foursome would involve one person eating me out while the other two rub my feet?
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