Having your wife answer your cell was so lame. Maybe we can talk when you get your phone, your facebook account, and your balls back.
I'm cheating on the girl I'm cheating on my girlfriend with
I'm skeptical of all drag queens.
If you did the rosary as much as you masturbated, you would be the pope
You gave him your vagina and this is what I get in return? This is bullshit!
ok watching intervention on tv. when i hit rock bottom - i wanna be THIS chick.
its not that she doesnt like having sex with you, your balls just smell worst then your ass.
She started to rub her ass on my shoulder and i instantly thought "i am going to get E. Coli"
He just got home drunk. He ate 5 snack cakes, said Little Debbie's his bitch, went upstairs and fell asleep.
whatever buzz i had immediately ended when i saw her run through a sliding glass door
You know he really cares when he gives you one of those on-the-go toothbrushes for your walk of shame before running to work
Apparently I had 2 bloody noses and after my sis put me to bed at the hotel, I escaped and my sister's friend found me in an elevator with some guy
& he told me that I give the best head ever.. like can I get that on a medal?
If you break up with me one more time it's over.
last time we tried to watch a movie together, we ended up having really aggressive sex. during the Lion King. so what Disney classic will we be ruining this time?
Randomize
