theres a middle aged lesbian couple holding hands on the bus and a 17 or 18 year old christian girl visibly staring freaked out and audibly praying about it
From the crime scene it appears that I attempted to throw up into a candle.
Do u kno any dealers?
I've officially lost all respect for you, dad.
so. which one of us is going to pay for the neighbors new window? it cracked when i threw the bottle at it but smashed when you threw yours.
Also, last night I had a dream that I was in a victoria's secret fashion show and they made me wear a t-shirt over my lingerie. Spring dieting begins now.
Mom brought home a 36 pack of Smirnoff and was all "ring any bells?" and then winked. I'm scared. What does she know?
He wanted me to blow him while he did curls and looked at himself in the mirror. Not sure if gay or ego maniac.
Ps I just used the "If you give a mouse a cookie" defense in a real life situation. Suck it
You said you were uncomfortable with your body and then you started making whale noises
"YOU ALWAYS BEEN A HOE YOU ALWAYS GONE BE A HOE. THAT'S JUST THE WAY IT'S GONE BE." overheard at temple
I SHOULD NOT BE HAVING AN EXISTENTIAL CRISIS OVER PIZZA
Did I, at any point last night, say I was dying?
... Okay, fine. But I don't want to be a better person tonight. I'll be a better person tomorrow.
Like why am I even still facebook friends with a guy I let finger me at a concert?
I had no plans to sleep with him, but he had to stay because of the snow. I always say, don't look a gift storm in the mouth.
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