I can't believe believe she called me a slut. She doesn't know anything about me or my life.
Shit, that's something a lot of sluts say.
oh so you have enough money for the third eye blind concert but not enough for the morning after pill?
I just fell off my chair and knocked over the table. People are staring. That hungover.
Don't remember much from last night, but I recall slipping you the tounge. For that I apologize
the "its better than getting an actual virus from an actual porn star" argument failed.
I'm eating dry tortillas on a mattress without a sheet. and i thought my life would change after graduation.
You went around chanting "dinosaur period" and drinking tomato soup from the can.
Last night we looked at each other with an expression of "fuck I am so done being normal", took off our shirts, and danced around in our bras
You straddled the banister and fell down the stairs, then proceeded to crawl back up them, I think you need to lay down
Going through my bras is like traveling back in time through my past hookups and relationships....
But in today's society it's frowned upon not to wear pants in public.
My ladyscape is the envy of many and the shangrila of few. I will display it proudly.
Only you could make a reflective vest look even remotely sexy
My early Valentine's Day one night stand just took an uber home. Thank you, technology, for letting me enjoy this day in peace. 😍
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos?
He shit with the door open. I think that means we are in a realtionship.
Randomize
