Its official, cigarettes are now more expensive than weed
you sent me the whole alphabet, one letter a text. it took 15 minutes to read them all
I'm at the house listening to vengaboys alone. Please come home.
Just spent 45mins blow drying a joint i dropped in a beer....i felt like i dropped his infant child....
Girl next to me just ralphed in a bag. Congrats class of 2010
Houston, we have a problem
where are u?
Houston. That's the problem. I don't know how I got here.
that wasn't rum that I poured down your throat while you were sleeping
After it was shut down sean literally made out with four separate girls between the 100 feet to our house. It was a rampage.
If you asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be today, I can pretty much guarantee I wouldn't have replied with "buying hemorrhoid cream on Bourbon St at 7am"
You were riding my three year old's train yelling, 'I think I can, I think I can!!'
I thought I could.
I offered to give him "road head" while he played GTA 5. I think he will be more optimistic about date night in the future.
Some girl dressed in nothing but Wonder Woman underwear and a cape on her ass just started twerking all over us. Remind me why I'd never been to a midnight of Rocky horror before?
Say whatever you bloody well like; you don't know the true meaning of life until you have smoked to a Sade cd.
I wore his All-American medal during sex. I came in first that night.
i just had to ask the gas station attendant what state i was in... winning at life.
im in missouri by the way.
Randomize
