Its sad we have to plan out fun a month in advance. 30 sucks.
i knew i liked her after she chugged tequila, fell down the stairs and said "oh dont worry i knew it'd be faster this way"
Homegirl just dropped a candle on the floor major party foul. Thought it make you feel better.
I am not going to ask my mother to pause a movie so I can have phone sex.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I hope my orgasm sounds aren't secretly that bad and no one tells me
How does this dude know what a dying walrus sounds like? That's the real question
Apparently when your theatre teacher asks who the best actor of our time is, Nicolas Cage is not the right answer.
Soggy bong water carpet is the worst kind of carpet.
I'm about to get my nails done. Would the polish name "meet me at the altar" be too straight forward for a first date?
It was so small.
Tiny. Got to love sexting. Imagine finding out the old fashioned way.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Eating breakfast at 1:30 in the afternoon stark naked is how everyone should live
Sorry, I gave half my brain to my thesis and the other half to mdma
that guy was staring at your tits.
nah, more like they were staring at him, and his girlfriend, and her less than adequate bosom. they pitied the fool.
point taken, oh mistress of the bosoms.
remember that party we went to sophomore year where we found that girl and had the orgy? Im totally at that house right now.
Perfect attendance and not being drunk since Sunday. This is a new leaf if I've ever seen one
IDK if she's gay or not, but there is something about the way she looks at me that says "do dirty dirty things to me." I have no choice but to oblige.
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