i've counted 4 condom wrappers but only 3 condoms. not again.
I wouldn't necessarily call it an addiction, more of a passion. I'm habitually passionate.
we cant have a funnel and a dog. thats a lot of responsibility
I mean its not the first time I passed out drunk at barnes and noble.
You're in a tuxedo, you can pee wherever you want.
Wait..I think something else did happen last night my vagina is too pleased for this level of hangover..
Just once I'd like to do blow in a nice bathroom.
I yield to the immortal wisdom of one ludacris, who famously wrote, "can't turn a hoe in to a housewife." Indeed, ludacris, indeed.
I was so fucked up last night that I peed on his FATHER'S BED and fell asleep there. and yes. his father was asleep in the bed
"I played a game called "how drunk can you get in a minute" last night. How was your Thursday?"
He isn't understanding any of my Fetty Wap references. He may not be a keeper after all.
I just remembered that before we left my house I vowed to stay fully clothed and I FAILED
I'm getting paid to get fucked up. How much better could this get?
Wow I really just sharted up in this Kroger
i didnt realize that your first thought would be SEXUALIZING BREAD
Randomize
