He seemed more like the type to get donkey punched by a she-male hooker to me
Well i just wrestled a cop... p.s. i won
I didn't say she couldn't, I said you shouldn't.
I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
Pretty sure I'm taking the break up well. Alcohol made me okay with it and drugs keep me agreeing with why I dumped him in the first place.
Im pretty sure that girl just said "Im taking you home even if your girlfriend has to come too." Why are we here again?
DOGS JUST TOTALLY ATE THE FEATHERS OFF MY NIPPLE CLAMPS!!!
I want my birthday to be like the hunger games where all the contenders for my vaj have to fight each other off to win the prize
Can I have the second place winner?
She wouldnt stop trying to stick her finger in my ass. I wish she wasnt so hot
I tried to walk home in my heels. And I fell into a snow bank. And then I cried and a policeman came up to me and said I can't sit in a snowbank and got me a cab. So maybe that's where I left my credit card. I remember the cop asking me if I was old enough to drink, too. OMG. How embarrassing. Pretty sure I told him to "leave me alone."
New rule: if someone asks if you would like to snort a xanax the answer is no.
I don't get it. If he broke into Taco Bell at 2 am, then why couldn't he have brought me home a fucking taco???
Stop recording sex noises and setting them as my ringtones. This time it was at a funeral
I did crash a prom last night though.. It was fun
We somehow ended up in Oklahoma. Nick's been crapping for two hours and I'm afraid to call a doctor because who the hell knows what sort of stuff goes down in the middle of nowhere. So not a great long weekend really.
Randomize
