Ha. No worries! So loud here &god I love drag queens! How does it happen, the congealing?
So I used to make fun of texas a lot, then I got here and I found a place where I could get my tequila in a to go cup with a straw and I realized that this is the only place I ever want to be
even the sluttiest version of myself will not go down on him
I've never had a better reason to do blow of a Pittsburgh strippers ass than to try and keep pace with my dad.
did i get hit in the head with a hammer? someone just asked me...
We made the bar tender tell us how he proposed to his girlfriend. In detail. While we made gushing noises. We are embarrassments to females everywhere
she tried strangling devon with the garden hose. pretty sure they're broken up
how does 'resolution to respect myself more' follow 'he fucks me really hard'?
I have no idea what that means but I'm googling things just so I can watch my thumbs move
Like we were literally doing coke off his insulin pump
I'm surprised I didn't lose anything last night. Except maybe my dignity but other than that we gucci.
And two different second-graders said my make up was pretty. It's left over from last night bc I woke up 5 min before I was supposed to leave.
There is eyeliner on my toilet. Vodka and I have a love hate relationship.
I mean metaphorically. Literally zombies have yet to invade. Let's be rational here.
Well you’re enrolled in an Ivy League grad school and I’m currently at a 2 star holiday inn in rural PA so who is really thriving here
Randomize
