That was definitely a porn plot just waiting to develop...
Don't judge me. Haven't eaten all day so I'm in my room sticking my finger in peanut butter, then jam, then my mouth.
just heard a tri-delta girl talking about her drunken escapades last weekend...it's like the exact plotline to a hardcore porno.
Did i throw a brick at someone last night?
there seems to be a considerable amount of hair missing from my left hand. i may have lit it on fire again
He just referred to his foreskin as a snuggie. Help.
They are fixing my bike for free, trying to smoke me out, and their kids keep hugging me.
I slept with an Israeli and a Palestinian in the same day. It feels wrong.
Someone wrote "gnarballz" on my fridge in black marker. I'm pissed, but more concerned I slept with the one who did it
That's one good thing about being an only child. I can masturbate wherever the fuck I want
Im just confused who has their mom break up with someone
So my class is approximately two vomits from the bus stop. Happy first day of class
Can we talk about how she only slept with you because you remind her of a member of a K-pop group?
Kelly and I just had sex, and you didn't call or text to interrupt, are you alive? We are both concerned.
Bro i just made a pipe out of a mechanical pencil and the top to an eye drop bottle. Does that make me some kind of pot god?
Randomize
