I woke up this AM and all of my clothes i wore last night are gone. Instead i am dressed in air jordans, boxers, cargo shorts, and an Affliction t-shirt. the part that upsets me most is that i was with a guy who wears Affliction t-shirts.
ed mcmahon, farrah fawcett, and michael jackson all in one week. What next god, are you juts gonna take my penis too?
He sent me a picture of him bent over showing his asshole with the caption "vwahla".... No more tequila for either of you
you're expensive. Idk about all this. What happened to free make outs?
Sobriety and mild self-respect
I have nothing to lose. And a bunch of dick to gain.
I still can't believe he came down from his hiding place in the tree voluntarily because he didn't want us to have to talk to the cops alone...
I'm not so good at organized events that don't revolve around whiskey or playgrounds.
I couldn't drown my sorrows in an ocean of jack daniels. They may have scuba gear.
my window is missing, there is half a pizza jammed into the disk slot of my PS3, and the entire kitchen floor is covered in cerial i cant see any wood floor. did we have fun?
He's all enlightened and liberal. My next beefcake will be much more Neanderthal.
I'm on the porch day drinking and the neighbor is in his yard screaming about his amazing sandwiches, maybe we should move.
How do u even exfoliate your vagina
Leaving the puke on the ceiling as a reminder.
You reached new levels of laziness. After we woke you up to take shots with us, you stayed in bed so you didn't have to move when you were drunk and sleepy
Interesting fact: if you wanted to rename a guy Jeff, just tell him you only fuck Jeffs. Magically whatever name he was using is actually his middle name cause he doesn't like going by Jeff.
Randomize
