Do you think Capital One would let me put the Tub Girl picture on my Capital One card?
Beat you to it.
So there is a guy driving a robot around the college of engineering selling energy drinks
her idea of "friends with benefits" is her doing my laundry. i'm cool with it.
I added "don't hook up with boys with girlfriends" to my new years resolution and realized how sad it was that it made me actually feel like a better person
I am fine. Katie thinkr i broke things pole dancing. I am coherant.
Are you absolutely against sleeping in your car? Because i've done that before.
someone who i have in my phone as thundercock just said he was DTF
I had to have the guy I went out with last night come pick me up from the hotel the next morning after I ditched him for a firefighter..don't even talk to me about a walk of shame
When we were finished I asked him how long it had been since he'd cum that hard. He thought really hard for a while before telling me his brain forgot how years worked.
Fuck yeah GAYNESS
*explodes into glitter*
ROB LOWE. SO BEAUTIFUL. SO DOUCHEY. SO HARD TO SPELL HIS NAME WHEN DRUNK.
I JUST FARTED SO LOUD AND HARD I IMMEDIATELY TASTED IT
Just paid for birth control in all ones do you think she is judging me?
I don't want to spend an inordinate amount of time with you, I want to have sex with you. Duhhhhhh.
I wanted to make my beer stronger so I poured vodka in it. Why god....why
Randomize
