That's when you crack a 10am beer
There's a hobo dancing by himself. Is anyone going to ask how he got in the house?
Wtf. Who made this Big Mac, Helen Keller?
Mowing drunk should be an olympic sport...
Just an fyi, teatherball while wasted might be the hardest sport ever.
These 5 days benders will be the death of me. Just living and breathing is a struggle right now.
i just added your friend Valery on the FB just to comment on your tits.... thought id give you a heads up
My near death experience also doubled as my coming out story
they all just nodded
Decided to go explore a half built apartment complex at 4 a.m and leave a 3 block obstacle course in the alley ways on the way home.
I'm not asking you to commit. I'm politely asking your penis to be my friend.
I apologized for the whole SWAT team incident to the roommate.
Apparently getting a blow job in the mens room from the bar owners daughter will get you kicked out.
I AHVE A WINE BUCKETTTTTTT
You sat down in the middle of the road and started crying. We told you "Get your ass up or we're leaving you here." You replied "They'll findddd meeeeee" and ran after us.
We walked around last night for hours saying nothing but nom nom nom and barking at each other.
Randomize
