its like whenever the snow comes all the hott girls drop out of school. where are they
Working on an important paper into the wee hours of the morning, and every time I type the word "situation," I can't help but think of effing Jersey Shore. Those guidos are now ruining my academic life.
Adams eating in the shower, he says it's one of his favorite places to eat. Btw it's milanos he's eating, he says he loves italy too.
i'm pretty sure i saw my life flash before my eyes when we ran a red light. i continued to drink and be the drunk backseat driver.
I can't think of anything besides pubic hair fallout. Ugh.
Dude their dog does tricks for sips of beer. He keeps going up next to people and trying to shake. This is awesome.
Apple trackpads and semen don't mix. On the way to the Apple Store.
Her hair goes down to her lower back and nobody was there to held it back for her. She looked like chewbacca dipped in vomit.
We fucked to showtunes. Never going out with a theatre major ever again.
I was scared that I should know him but I was too busy blacking out to remember
What happened to my face?
You kneed yourself in the eye during the Harlem Shake.
It was impressive.
My lighter is stuck in my beard.
He once bought a dildo and put fifty dollars and a happy anniversary note in the battery compartment I gotta lock him down while hes available
His mom wants to come see the dorm.
Hide the whip.
There is a sex dungeon behind the wine cellar. This is why I hate showing foreclosures.
Randomize
