I know right? mind you this is the same woman who told me when I was 12 that oral sex just meant talking dirty
I do no wrong. I am always right. Right? I forget why I am sending this. It seemed relevant.
Andrew is trying to convince me that i took your virginity. Please tell me he is lying.
define virginity.
Do you want the really bad news or the bad news? Or do you want it in chronological order?
its a nice change of pace not blacking out and actually remembering getting laid
Just saw some guy puking out of the dorm window, its for sure monday
Taking back a box of condoms is possibly the most depressing thing i've ever done
Everything tastes like Lysol. Am I dying?
Dont eat ANYTHING off the floor at Matt's house. He likes floor sex.
i have officially banned the recreational use of bayonets.
drunk freshman in the bathroom puking keeps saying "i'm a peasant" over and over
"Don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor..." he chanted helplessly
Thanksgiving day drinking ended up with me in a shopping cart screaming where are the bitches and condoms. I'd say it went well.
Feel weird saying this on Facebook, but a dildo collecting demigod sounds like somebody I'd at least hang with for a minute.
His dick isn't even good enough to be this much of an asshole
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