did you ever find your cell phone? and your dignity?
I found my old addy guy via fb who clearly understands the supply and demand curve of addy during finals so he's gonna hook me up.
You sprayed lemon pledge on your crotch because it was "dusty"
Forever 21 now has a maternity line. Even more of an incentive for me to get pregnant at a young age.
this blows. i told the guy at the bar that i was the DD and it was like i just announced over megaphone that i had genital herpes. no one will talk to me now.
he came within less than a minute of me blowing him. this was our second night hanging out in a row. for an almost 30 year old italian man, he is NOT living up to his country's reputation
Singing high school musical songs with an old Russian woman I met on the bus. What are you doing?
I have to be at work in a hour. Can you sufficiently fuck me in 35 minutes?
He saw one of my bras on the floor and said "damn you could eat soup out of this"
I just added Tubthumping to the playlist for tonight. This is going to make or break the party.
The convent might be a nice break from real life
Remember last NYE when after the 9th shot of tequila you went on full crazy mode and made out with the 50 y/o doorkeeper? and he called you the next day?
Is it bad when I wake up sore & don't know if my injuries are from sex or the mechanical bull at the bar?
we had to invent a new word for how drunk I was last night
There are two guys here arguing over Pearl jam and Nirvana. 1991 wants its argument back.
Randomize
