And i was thinking, 'i'm happy to be underneath you, but i wish you weren't doing THAT.'
Im going to buy a thermometer. If its above 104 im going to the hospital if its under 104 im going to the bar
dude I'm not 100% but I think your mom is sexting me.
Seriously wondering if smoking a bowl for lunch was a bad idea.
OR THE BEST. STAY TUNED.
For looking exactly like her, she tasted less like her sister than I would've thought
I hope we all get so wasted that we ride the cows again
I can't. I drank 10 years off my life last night. I need to reevaluate. Sorry.
Since I fall down so much at parties I've started doing this new thing where when I fall I just yell FLOOR PARTY and make people bring the party to me
I was just hotboxing under my sheets and I got lost on the way out.
It was so scary.
When we were all out of beer you took a bite out of the cardboard beer box and said "close enough."
The last time I saw her someone was carrying her on a bike and she was yelling that she was E.T.
The convent might be a nice break from real life
we played his NES Classic. Turns out there is a warp zone to my vagina.
I'm pretty sure I just won at life. I touched the bushy tail of a squirrel while he had his mouth full and was digging in a plant on campus. That is all.
Im blaming it on six shots of Jack, loneliness and a chemical imbalance. That's the best I can think of...
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