Shes cool when Im fuckin smashed.....Sober.....She suuuuuuuuuuucks
i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
have you ever been in a public bathroom and someone walked in, and you played "Fat or Crying" based on her breathing?
Just fyi NOT a good idea to drunkenly insert your NuvaRing after chopping jalepeno peppers
We discussed how the marijuana was making the dopamine float around our nucleus accumbens last night when we were high. Yet another example of how our science classes are perverting our good times.
the semester is winding down: time to procrastinate by googling cheap keg options
I walked into the bathroom and the toilet was on fire... I stood there for like a minute trying to decide whether I should put it out or get my camera.
My grandma just told me that she sharted, no I am not having fun in El Paso.
I am the master of subtle flirting. I seduced him by simulating a hand job with an epi-pen during training.
Whatevss it will be funn .. Hopefully no one projectile vomits on the wall again.. Its kinda become a tradition though
She has an inverted nipple. She told to play with the normal one until the other one pops up.
Nothing says "lifelong friendship" like FaceTiming in a sex shop.
If it makes you feel any better, I'm eating a block of cheese...
My mother is currently smoking weed with a dying bee so his last moments aren't miserable. And she wonders why I rescued a grasshopper missing a leg.
It's alright. I'm just trying to make her realize you're not good enough for her.
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