As a pleasant surprise..I woke to find a Burrito and Bottle of Gatorade .....Merry XMAS to ME
he like comes into my room and is like..."can you fix my pants" and then just drops trou
my mom was in labor with me for 32 hours, it's only fair to start drinking now.
It's like a puppy that we have to take care of at all times or else she'll get sad, lonely, and chew on the furniture. And by 'chew on the furniture', I mean have anonymous sex.
Im thinking about quitting weed for my dog
He also informed us that it's rude to shove your tit in someone's mouth. Happy Monday.
I couldn't tell you were laughing too hard
Dude I thought I set my hair on fire. I wasn't laughing I was screaming.
I woke up in my own bed clutching a key to a Ramada in another state.
Well I can cross being naked in a minivan off the list
the cops accepted 42 wallaby way Sydney. and the cops, and cab driver accepted the new address. please tell the win i am experiencing
Watching this game makes me realize that we have yet to do Skype shots. What kind of long distance alcoholics are we?
I was so high I watched a 5 minute video of different scenes of horses running. The music was magical.
Don't act like you're a victim to marijuana
Mike Pence got the fuck boy eyes though
if you were broke and planning on using koolaid as a tequila chaser which flavor would you pick?
Randomize
