Well, she's an atheist who is addicted to the Sims.
Who isn't?
apparently the 911 operator took drunk dialing waaayy too seriously
oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle
i am doomed to only fuck guys with curved cocks
The great thing about skinny blondes is that they're all interchangeable.
and then we all passionately sang "what if god was one of us" until everyone passed out in the grass
So fucking hammered. Is this all spelled right? I'm holding it up to my eye. I am on a boulder. I feel like an owl
There was an unopened condom by my car when I went to pick it up this morning. Someone may have fucked on the hood of my car last night. Don't think it was me but I can't rule it out 100%.
You may want to re-read your sent texts from last night. You were texting me about your "fire shits" spelled 6 different ways between 3 and 5:30 AM.
This Alex the guy who suck your belly ring
Dude. Steinbecking. It's when you double-fist coffee and alcohol to help you meet a writing deadline.
WHY WONT HOT GETMAN MAKR PUPR WITH ME!!!!???!?!!
This time last year I was crying in a church parking lot without shoes or a bra, so the years can only go up from here
For the first time in my life, I still have money by the next payday. Who is this responsible person and what have they done with the real me?
Had a rough day but my boyfriend made that all better by going down on me while letting me watch Top Gear... I'm buying the engagement ring tomorrow
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