Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
fix you gags fore go to garrits please? !!!!!!!
What does that mean?
How when the cu k dos I yet u
Focus
Just bummed a recreational vicodin off my friend's 40 year old boyfriend & am hoovering a breakfast sammy from costco. And I don't have a boyfriend because why?
he asked me to marry him on one of those scrolling message belt buckels.... what now?
Oh this totally just became legit. My "boss" is puking outside my car right now. I win again.
Exactly how many bongs can i have before my parents figure out they really aren't vases
bet u 5 dollars u can't guess were i woke up this morning
oh god.. jail?
better, on the catwalk of the auditorium
The great thing about vietnam is that if I'm drunk during the day people just think I'm being white
I told her that I was going up to my room to lay in front of a fan without pants on, watching Avengers and she still wanted to get with me. I have to marry her.
Dude. When are you coming home? I'm laying in bed watching the Grinch and trying to pet a cat that I'm not even sure exists.
I never thought I'd say this, but I think I just saw the hottest pregnant chick alive.
I hate that we are older than the real world people now
Halloween is the end of the singles holidays they don't start again until st. Patrick's day we better get wifed up or it's going to be a long winter lol
He got an erection from helping me mobilize my lumbar spine. I love physical therapy school.
You know it was a good dinner party when one of the guests broke their finger and no one can remember how it happened.
Randomize
