Take one last look at my face, because I'm drinking it off tonight.
He probably put up nude pics. He seems like that kind of guy.
he said he got tested two months ago... he goes with his whole family.
Had to awkwardly dig through all my fake ID's to get my real one so I could vote.......Model citizen over here.
They just kept handing me shots and saying welcome to college
i would have thought, that you two being my best friends, one of you would have atleast tried to catch me before i hit the ground after blacking out.
...Saturday night. Get your dick ready. We are going to go nuts. I want to have sex fucking everywhere.
I let my daddy issue flag fly free last night.
I hate waking up Sunday morning and thinks "how many friends did I lose last night".... Normally it's between 1-5.
I can wear a rubber suit at three am and spank someone's ass until its sore and fuck them three ways from Sunday. And get up the next day and do their laundry. As long as once in awhile they rub my back without expecting anything
The walk home lasted longer than the sex. He lives in the flat above the bar.
a guy just walked through our campsite, crouched down by the truck, screamed "ACID ONLY LASTS FOR 8 HOURS RIGHT?!", then ran off into the bushes
Pretty sure we ruined a bachelorettes life last night
How was your weekend?
My girlfriend decided the best way to get my mind off of my dog dying was to break up with me via text
The fuck kind of sorcerer makes a pact with tequila
Most of the people I know from AA
Haha touché
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