Grandma was not a fan of the beer-can ornaments. Not "traditional".
he was writing an apology letter to his liver in shakespearean english... That much fun...
still drunk. talking shit to the doc drawing my blood. this has no upside
Help. All alone. Room is. Changing colors. Dance party 2010, but without dancing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This is the 4th time we've hooked up, and this morning we woke up, he got out of bed and left. Left me alone in his apartment with 3 of his friends. Without even a word. Why do i like this guy?
My drunk neighbor is arguing with a goose in his yard. This was the highlight of my day.
I don't think you understand. Its the best fauxhawk you've ever seen. I look like a gay dinosaur.
That's the most beautiful thing I've ever heard. Can I call you littlefoot?
You're the only person I know who can be puking into a trash can at 8 in the morning in Manhattan and get a date out of it....
I have a strong contender for the new number 1 position for fwb. He met me at the door with pizza and a shot of patron
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you dont know your limits until you wake up with a black eye and a bruised rib and find out you got ran over by a bicycle last night
I've got to stop fucking tourists. If Chicagos piazza is anything like their dicks. I'm moving.
So you're mad that I let you go home with the guy with soft hands but yet you can't understand that I was just trying to help you
I swear, I make more use of my creative writing major with sexting than I do with anything else
Apparently I called down to the hotel front desk and begged them to bring us pizza. They brought us tea.
He just told me my boobs made up for all the bad things that had ever happened to him. I'm definately having sex with him again.
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