Oh my god. I just envisioned myself eating panda meat. I need to get out of this class.
I really liked your hair last night but that style makes it really hard to hold it while you puke
Just took a beer bong out of snuffaluffagus's trunk. Your move
I'm returning our mountain of beer cans, while wearing a Budweiser sweatshirt. i don't look like an alcoholic.
What's the most polite way to ask if you puked in my vase?
I swear after i took it all i did was scream for four hours
you're wrong. we DID have sex last night. just ask your roommate. you seriously don't remember him asking to join us?
Have you ever noticed that the cities in car commercials look really futuristic?
...did you eat that brownie?
No Robbie is the name of a kid or dog, not an adult man who's fucking you.
i have a raging boner for Saturday, day drinking is one of my top favorite things right next to alligator wrestling and blowing shit up
I don't know anybody that can get the cops to drive them back to the bar after being pulled out of a tree
it happenes
Realistically you can't tell me you're gonna put mashed potatoes on your dick and expect me not to get excited
It's gonna be me and some oreos tonight. Basically like sex
Don't come up here. Strippers r crying.
We couldn't find her anywhere. Finally, I saw her sitting in my bathroom floor spraying hair mouse into her mouth and whispering "I fucking love whipped cream." WHAT DID YOU GIVE HER AND CAN I HAVE SOME?
Randomize
