walked into a party last night, i saw 3 ex gfs standing in a circle talking to each other...that's the quickest u-turn i've ever made in my life.
She had a muffin-top while wearing a one piece bathing suit. Thats gotta break one of newton's laws or something
I hate when people I sell to add me on Facebook. I'm your dealer, not your friend, C'mon people.
its not a holiday until ive ruined the family picture because im drunk
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Remember middle school health class where we used to say that when we lost our vcards we would be on the pill, using a condom, and have had our partners tested first? We were so optimistic.
I'm sure I'm not the FIRST newly single girl to table dance at a family restaurant.
Apparently I blacked out and pissed all over the sliding glass door from the inside, as everyone watched from the outside helplessly....
Sorry I dragged you across a parking lot
We've been walking through the woods for two hours, he just keeps taking pictures. At least we'll remember this tomorrow.
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Summer bikini season begins today. I hereby declare the commencement of the 2013 HUNT FOR CUNT.
I'm wearing a cape at the laundromat. I really can't say shit
I need to reevaluate. My boss gave me drug money. I overslept on my couch. And I had my student teacher go to McDonald's and get an egg mcmuffin for me.
We just had sex on an abandoned logging road while wearing snow shoes. God bless Montana boys.
It's routine now. He comes home from work and i ride him like a cowgirl with only a few sips of wine. I love being his neighbor.
Never let the horse trainer ride you, always ride the horse trainer. I have huge bruises on my thighs from his hip bones. That's how hard he rode me
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