babies were throwing up all over the place
I'm having a chugging contest on the streetcar. The driver is judging.
Plus someone just passed me a joint through the window. BEST STREETCAR RIDE EVER
It's shit like that that makes me wish being deaf was contagious
When I came in she was screaming "boundaries!" at the cat because it was trying to eat her pizza rolls.
We almost forgot to tip the maids, so we left the rest of the gin, some tonic water and a lime. They earned it
I just ate a can of beans for dinner so I can afford to go get a 5$ bottle of wine. I really did not think these choices would still be necessary at age 25.
We love you just as you are but we might love you more if we didn't have to post bail so often...
First thing on my "to do" list- get sober for community service.
At least you got a round of applause for dancing like vanilla ice across the street and into the bar. Even as you were getting carded
I also turned off the Anchorman DVD start menu before cause I didn't want Will Ferrel watching me lose my virginity.
And they have kittens that decided that boobs are apparently the best arena for king of the hill...
The only thing I remember from last night is being naked in his bed if that's not summer drinking at it's finest then I don't wanna live anymore
Uh oh we had sex and I don't think I like him anymore help
Little girl was fucking around on the train and completely ran her head into a pole. Totally burst out laughing as she cried. Her mom was not amused. I don't think I should be a Mom. EVER.
Last night was fun. Sorry I slipped out before you woke up
Also, your parents get up REALLY early. Please thank them for the bagel and travel mug of coffee. Happy Thanksgiving!
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