I don't remember much but I know I looked hot.
And then she was like, "don't do anything. No blow jobs, don't let him stick his fingers in weird places because people have germs."
he told her to call him "Frog Legs" and she still fucked him and not you.
I was really sad when you left and cried. And i don't know what a face promise is, but apparently i made you make one.
He thought the strainer was a giant bowl to puke in.
They sext over her pic comments. Role playing as wolves.
He said he has something to give me... I swear to God if it's a joint or a framed picture of his penis i'm going to kill him
Shes definitely an expert at this. Her happy hour goes from 4 to 11, then she starts drinking heavy. She also allots 15 minutes each hour for a pee/bj break
What did he say? I couldn't hear him over the sound of how awesome his beard is.
Been trying to fuck him since december. Finally got him into bed and he was uncircumcised. Why do bad things happen to good people?
He texts me "what are you wearing" in the middle of the workday, so naturally I assume he's kidding and respond "the blood of my enemies" #foreveralone
Their first impression of me was that I was completely naked. So yeah college hasn't even started yet and I'm already that person.
Also this guy in my contact as hairy jerry sent me a pic of him shirtless and said I miss you and I have no idea who he is /when or if I met him but that's not normal?!
MILK DIDN'T HELP. IT'S NOT HELPING
"Because this is an ongoing legal matter" is how his morning after sex text began. So...
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