you fell asleep during kickboxing this morning
how does that even happen??
O no, u 2 are dating again?
No. I just masturbate furiously to his picture
i just saw her new tattoo, how much more trashy can you get than having "taste the rainbow" on your body for the rest of your life?
The worst part of it is that he's not the first man I've fucked with 2+ chihuahua's.
I'd like to say he was whispering sweet nothings into my ear all night but really he was just whispering "pussyyy"
Jerry just sent me this: IOR GHIT ALL THE BUTTIB. Go get him. Now.
If you can't find your cat in the morning it's cause i put him in the laundry basket and then put the laundry basket in the shower.
I'm pretty sure they kept making references about gangbanging me but I was too stoned to catch on, I just sat there and stared at his kitten.
Faces of meth called, they want their look back.
You cannot meet up with him at the tailgate, his parents are there. What are you going to say "Hi I'm the one who fucks your son, can I get a cheeseburger?"
well that's what you get for sleeping with a guy called 'the defiler'
Is it against health code to come into work half drunk and commando?
on a scale from 1 to "can't put a toothbrush in your mouth without gagging" how hungover are you?
Man it shouldn't be possible to get mad while you're stoned. I feel like ive broken one of the laws of physics
I got kicked out of the E.R. for saying "balls".
Randomize
