You drink too much
No, I drink just the right amount - too often.
singing on the bus should be illegal
huh?
There's a group of like 8 white people in the back of the bus harmonizing to sugar we're going down
If it was for sex do you really think i would asking for a mass vote? I'm like fidel castro when it comes to sex. No public approval needed.
Just threw up off a chairlift. my life is now complete.
I love watching the kids I sold drugs to score touchdowns
i think he just broke into a bike shop his last text said something about hiding in some tree
Ignoring the crisis im in. Sitting in the front yard in a kiddie pool. Wearing arm floaties, fins and a snorkel. Waiting for a hot guy to walk by.
Ideas for halloween. We need simple yet hilarious. Cheap yet effective. Slutty yet acceptable. Go.
its official: beach shits are the exact same as mountain shits
I swear the crows are laughing at me.
You my friend are stoned into submission
I've been asked to reupholster their slam-couch so I found some off-cuts of medical-grade, hermetically sealed fabric. She'll be slammed upon for generations to come.
Since when do you jog?
Since hot shirtless guy that lives across the street jogs
It's like my uterus needs a hug... and anti depressants
All I want to do is drink an excessive amount of free alcohol bought from strange men, while taking frequent trips to the bathroom to snort an assortment of illicit drugs off dirty toilet seats. Break cannot get here quick enough...
I woke up in my neighbors backyard with glitter on my teeth and sparklers super glued on my bra. which part was your fault?
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