She told you broke her computer after the little square in tetris wouldn't rotate for you...
What kind of flower means "I want to have unprotected sex with you, preferably from behind?" because thats the message I'd really like to send on Valentines Day
You just kept rubbing her head and repeating "I really like your head, I want your head..." over and over for like 10 minutes straight... And she didnt even stop you.
Not cool at all. Last night I organized my condoms by expiration date. I need to get laid.
Just found out they make medicinal lollipops, bought like 40 of them. Gonna go fill a pediatricians lollipop bowl.
You ad-libbed two DETAILED rounds of price is right, 1 wheel of fortune, and 1 deal or no deal.... by yourself with sound effects and music included
Every concussion has its silver lining
Pizza toast. It's like pizza but on toast. BC we are broke. OMG its so good.
You would never do this sober.
Nothing like an alcohol-fueled, 6-hour-long hunt for weed--complete with occasional breaks for sex.
White people are beatboxing! Save me.
We have such limited time together he literally sends me text messages that are like "I sent my roommates on an impossible quest, we have 15 minutes." it's that bad.
Well I think I made it pretty obvious I wasn't in to it. I was drinking a beer while he was going down in me
i peed in the parking lot at work not even thinking, a woman saw
If I die write a nice eulogy and bury me with my star wars bobbleheads
Btw you guys passed out eating DP dough and watching Pocahontas... on a monday
it was stoner heaven..
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