Dude, she's so old there's a chalk outline where her reproductive organs used to be.
So im using the back of a keystone box as notecard for my presentation
She had to leave early so she could get ready for her high school's homecoming. I hope her date likes sloppy seconds.
Where are you? I hear fireworks and you've gone missing. I'm sure that is not coincidence.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This teachers last name is pfister and she did the fisting motion to help explain how to pronounce her name. This class might be good
This hobo said he can't buy alcohol bc he got in trouble bc a girl sat on his face when he was passed out and misaligned his spine and gave him Alzheimer's so Ali is buying him a bottle. This is Vegas.
You're doing a terrible job of letting me hook up with girls vicariously through you.
We may not see eye-to-eye on much, but I'm definitely willing to let you see eye-to-vagina again.
I want a battle ostrich, get me a battle ostrich and then come and make love to me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Me and some girl at the bar just high fived for not wearing bras
& he told me that I give the best head ever.. like can I get that on a medal?
My husband just came over to kiss me and said, "careful, I got a block of cream cheese in my pocket"
She called to tell me she just hooked up with my crush...and that he talked about me...not sure if I should be pissed or excited?
Just threw up in a baggy on the airplane. The guys next to me clapped and bought me a jack and coke.
Livin the dream
when I found u, u were using a t-shirt for pants
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