Pretty sure she's used to bigger guys. She kept slipping off while on top. like, constantly
It was like what a highfive between zeus and Jesus would sound like
I don't even know how sober sex starts anymore
i woke up at 5 am and found myself wrapped in christmas lights that were plugged into the wall.
Fat lady wearing Shape Up's. I would feel bad making crude comments, but she has to know it's coming.
Its that time of week again, Bad life decision wednesday
his life revolves around getting high and answering people on yahoo answers. he's perfect for you.
I think we should roll her a welcome back, sorry your godmom's on life support blunt.
He was so drunk he was throwing the bowling balls into other lanes on purpose. He still beat my high score thought.
Honestly, it's his loss. He went for the free sample when he could've gotten the whole package, babes.
does that make me the free sample at the grocery store he didn't like enough to buy...? yeah, that advice didn't help, but thanks.
Sockward: that moment during sexytimes when you realize your socks are still on and you have no idea how to remove them in a non-awkward fashion.
literally 50% of my time being 20 has involved my genitals thus far
Okay, tomorrow we'll have a day of life-sorting and plasma-selling.
On another note- any interest in going to a gay bar to hit on 19yr olds?
Happy hour crawl turned into power happy hour turned into tequila shots turned into I'm drunk in class on Cinco de Mayo at 7 am.
Randomize
