Eating a girl out that was just in the ocean does not make her taste like saltwater taffy
I bought the tickets, he brought the weed. thanks to you, we had to roll a joint out of my bible paper.
so he tried marking my clit with a sharpie so he could "find it again next time".
he opened the microwave and beer cans poured out
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Some guy just delivered flowers to my roommate cause he fell off a roof onto her at a party last night. I think they have a date tomorrow.
I gurantee you I'll be the only one dressed as a giraffe.
he was grinding on you and dedicated the song "I'm in Love With a Stripper" to you then started taking his own clothes off
I'm drinking sangria out of a sand pail. I'll pass on tonight
You know what, I don't care that I got too drunk and didn't make it into the boat party. If I had, I probably wouldn't have peed on you later while we soundly slept. I feel you need that in a best friendship.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm not driving across town for three thrusts and an excuse
There's a whistle here and I just want to play my whistle song on it.
I'm just saying, I walked in on you blowing a burrito. I now understand how obsessed you are with Taco Bell. And how long it's been since you've got some.
It's volleyball. Just do it. You want to look sporty. Save sexy librarian for another day.
At least get laid and waffle fries out of it you whipped basterd
I am become drunk, destroyer of all worlds
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