You hurt me so bad and it feels so good
I thought at least he would want to exchange numbers after he tried to put it in my bum
The "puke-towel" started to grow something...
Are you absolutely against sleeping in your car? Because i've done that before.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When i say that im working late and also have a paper to write before 9am tomorrow all i want u to respond is saying that ur gunna come over and sexually distract me from my responsibilities. Not a fucking frowny face.
Sorry. Im on my way.
Its summer. Time to get to the freshmen before the weight does.
ok it turns out chain mail does not protect against falling down a flight of stairs. please send help.
Dude you asked your tattoo if it wanted to go swimming
Hey dude. I've got a mini fridge in my closet now so we don't have to worry about getting drunk and falling down the stairs on our way to get more beer.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
it was good, but also weird. like, i came four times and then cried weird.
He sent me a dick pic, and it had smeared lipstick on it. So I sent him the pic of my tit with the hickey ring your brother gave me.
Hi,\n\nYou left your underwear in my Uber. Thanks and bye.
Hey do u remember the time we used my mascara wand as a drink stirer?
My hairdresser won’t do keratin treatments because of the toxins, but will put ecstasy up her butt at festivals...
the orange of my hangover Tang is hurting my eyes... my coworkers knew it was hangover Tang too.
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