YOu come back ASAP and we will do whatever you want baby
for on dont try to tell me you love me after three weeks of talking, for two if you are going to do that stay away from the song lyrics to a very good country song that you happened to ruin by using it, and for three erase my number im fuckin your sister now
whatever sunny in Philadelphia does on Thursday nights, I'm doing all weekend.
I finally had sex with him last night, but we used a condom so it doesn't add to my number of sexual partners.
she thought the capital of kansas was topanga.
He saw my tits then looked up and yelled thank you jesus as loud as he could
I woke up naked this morning there was a baseball bat on the floor the bathroom door knob was removed and the floor was wet. This is why i don't do Tequila shots.
THE CONDOM ONLY COVERS HALF OF HIS DICK I AM IN THE BATHROOM PANICKING
So fucking hammered. Is this all spelled right? I'm holding it up to my eye. I am on a boulder. I feel like an owl
Well I think won that argument, as the cops were leaving, they offered me a ride to the airport
...I'm not a booty call or a pizza...you can't just call/text and expect to be eating me in an hour..
Showed up to family party blacked out and in a turkey costume. I'd say thanksgiving was a success.
Nobody will take a lit match to your nipple without warning you this time. Pinky swear.
If I'm legally allowed to go to jail than I should legally be allowed to tell a cop to fuck off. Basic principles.
Yea, but did you really have to throw a sandwich at him??
I'm tired of you and your emotional constipation. WHY DO YOU CLOSE YOUR EYES WHEN WE MAKE LOVE!?
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