Things overheard in WeHo: "Just drink a corona and eat some ass, you won't be hungry anymore"
So i'm in mason getting an ultrasound.. and there are a bunch of hicks in here with their wild ass children and this one young mom yells at her kid "harley sit!"
You should introduce yourself as garth. As in garth brooks.
i just posted a lake picture of you with a dead fish in your mouth. happy july 5th.
sorry i interrupted the heart to heart you were having with your bathrobe last night
you made your cat watch a peta video with you, so you could show it how just how good its life is
its 9am. i just got home. spent 6 hours blowing him in a closet last night
I was just counting ceiling tiles when he ate me out, it was that bad.
can you look at this picture and tell me if you think this my kid?
I think the name vodka for a girl is amazing
Power went out. She lit a candle and gave me head. Made some pretty impressive candlelight cocksucking shadowpuppets. Must be what porn was like in olden times.
The words "me," "sober," and "new years eve" do not go together. Ever.
When you and that girl went into the bedroom, you yelled "FOR NARNIA!"
I can not be a lesbian living on Beaverland.
You throw up behind 1 mannequin and it's world war 3 in forever 21
you ripped my door off of the hinges, kicked it in half and then proceeded to throw it down the stairs because i wouldn't make you a cheese burger
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