U dropped me off n it hit me, i made it inside for exactly shit thirty on the nose, another minute n i would of had brown trowsers
Please tell me how I woke up out in the middle of nowhere wearing nothing but a hard hat and a man thong?
we just made rock paper scissors into a drinking game
Had her hockey skates on in the house. Whole floor is ruined.
I am too drunk to make real decisions. I had pop rocks all over my ass earlier. This is not a joke.
So if you want this MFM threesome thing to happen the other guy is here and willing
some asshole was waslkibg around with ab electric razor and shaving parts of peoples heads.
You'd think if the campus holds 28,000 undergrad I wouldn't run into three people I've hooked up with in one day
She said just put your tongue in there and don't linger. I have other things to do.
In your drunken glory you promised me, tongue, 12 naked pics, and 1,800 breakfasts.
Yeah I'm at the doctors getting a shotand don't know how to tell them I'm still probably drunk from last night
We tried to do sophisticated last night, but our low class kept shining through.
My mom and my boss just had a discussion on FB about the sexual habits of old people. The magic of the Internet.
I'll give you a blowjob in a Santa hat if it will put you in the Christmas spirit
Sorry my friend with benefits tried to run you over with his car
Randomize
