Lets evaluate? U kissed one boss and lef twith another man. I cock teased the other, hardcore had a tongue jammed down my throat, made out w aa third then left in a cab w alex w them all yelling at me and offering rides. My cheek was also licked and bitten by 2 other men and we almost made out (u and me) because they asked. were hired.
dont worry your back hair reminds me of angel wings
According to Glamour magazine, experiencing sexual pleasure helps you live longer. I am dying an early death.
a kid puked on the floor and instead of, you know, cleaning it they cut a square out of the carpet with a boxcutter and threw it outside
Waking up with a sore back because you put the team on it for jager pong all night
My liver and I thought we knew what we signed up for. We were wrong.
Moral of the story: always keep condoms in your bra
I was walking out the front door and heard his roomate say "It looks like you need a chiropractor." I think my work here is done.
so you ordered business cards online last night with a picture of your dick on them. you need to hide that new credit card when you drink
In my defense, who let the drunk girl run around with a sack of broken glass unsupervise?
UPDATE: IM NOT A TEEN MOM LETS GO PARTY
New Serial podcast is out. We can listen to it tonight instead of having sex.
I came back from England with a face tattoo and the only thing anyone can talk about is my beard.
All I know is when I asked you how many fingers I was holding up, you said "Hippo"
My fuck it list is complete! I finally got a firefighter!
Randomize
