I really hope you get sexually violated by a pterodactyl tonight.
just went trash diving in my work clothes for weed. A&E's intervention here i come.
Just printed out my Plan B coupon at the library. Saving my own printer ink and paper as well as 10 dollars towards not being knocked up.
Responsibility does not care about your dick.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
America approved of our night. A bald eagle flew over us at 7am
u know how some weekends you just wanna go out and ruin a relationship? this is one of those weekends
You SHOULD feel empty, we were at the top of our game, and by that i mean snorting things we don't understand and only a few steps away from adultery.
He referred to his cock as "The cock" like it was third party or something.
I don't care if there's a party or not. I just want to be half naked in a cape with a never-ending supply of alcohol within arm's length at all times. Make it happen.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's end St Patricks day. I'm gonna need a leash. And a bib. And a rain check on anything considered dignifying.
the only thing you said was do the helicopter dick
Dude too much vodka. I think I just puked up my heart
That's what you get for taking that guy home. The god of sluttiness is frowning upon you.
Please don't call my dad a fuckpuppet, I feel like that would be awkward to explain later.
Did I tell you guys I was bisexual last night? I just had a flashback
But what is a man profited, if he should gain Joe Biden and lose Alex Trebek?
Randomize