if you don't open the door right now liz is going to get pregnant
Theyre still fighting about whether its called america or the united states.
I am so stoned and my professor is handing out candy. I love Halloween.
Do you think my bosses would frown upon Jameson with breakfast on this holiest of days?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am dripping wet and slathered in glitter and banana mush. I love gay guys.
there's sperm and chicken noodle soup everywhere
I'm pretty sure I have a cold now from having sex on the hood of my car in the rain. Worth it? Absolutely.
just threw up what i'm pretty sure look like contents of a lava lamp
Not a chance. She stuck her hand under my kilt and she told the whole table I was indeed commando. She broke all the rules.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We're about to go to a party titled 'Night of 1000 Jello Shots".
Well he walked in last night, yelled at me for not playing any music and started dancing.
If you need me I'll be getting drunk in a chewbacca onsie like a real adult.
New rule: if someone asks if you would like to snort a xanax the answer is no.
Dont worry, the Canadians are more afraid of you then you are of them.
Double-fisting ice cream and wine. Do not send help.
Randomize