I had a disgustingly explicit dream last night involving myself and lil wayne.
he just told me his nickname was "nickexplodeon"
does that mean he doesn't last long?
He said "what's the haps". I don't know what the haps are but there goes his chances
dont you remember the bouncer yelling at you while you were trying to piss?
no. why was the bouncer in the bathroom?
he wasn't. neither were you.
I'm watching the red sox through my neighbors window from my bathroom. We're winning btw.
seriously my hangover is so bad I feel like my eye lashes make blinking a workout
Time for jim to play the "dont seriously consider pooping in the trash" game
Oh, and i love you too. Im just a selfish dick who had to talk about myself first
That was like a fiery explosion of flailing arms and wonderful passion
Would nail polish remover take gorilla glue off my nipples? We had a strange night.
Possibly threw up in my purse last night. Still suspicious of of all actions
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
One. But meh. I upped my age limit to like 29 hoping I'll match with this one fedex guy that delivers packages to my work
And here I thought that was one nut sack too many
I’m never getting home or fucked or eating hot Taco Bell fml
Randomize
