also i tucked his toothbrush in my shirt. why? i dont know.
you're the one who masterbates every night to the titanic soundtrack
It took you an unbelievable amount of time to realize that your ass was on fire.
I think I'm going to die by hangover. I'm in my spanish class. So I guess I'm going to be muerte.
i just got painted green i'm not about to leave for anything
vodka bottle broke. scooping it out of the plastic tub with a shot glass into a sprite bottle using a ziplock bag as a funnel and straining the glass out with paper towels. good thursday night?
I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL?
Dude it's bad when your 10 year old son makes fun of your penis size.
Spent fifteen minutes in the car thinking i was psychic before i realized the cd was not on shuffle
I dont know how I should feel about you making a 37 year old come visit you and then making him do the walk of shame from your dorm room...through campus
Bouncer came into the bathrooms to tell us the old one-person-per-stall rule, realised it was two girls banging, and left us to it. Lesbiperks.
Our first time hooking up was on New Years and we've managed to hook up every holiday since, I'm hoping this lasts until 2016 just to fulfill my American Holiday sex fantasy I never knew I had
Last night was like blooper reel sex. He dropped me!!
Great news. I WILL BE FUCKING IN A BOUNCY HOUSE TOMORROW.
He said when the pizza came I zip locked one slice and went to the couch and snuggled with it. Does that give you an idea of how my night was?
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